All that you describe are the normal and expected things in a relationship. Feminists' relationships have that kind of support too. That is the thing.
The only difference I see is the part about going back to work so soon after major surgery. In Europe that is unthinkable. You assume that feminists won’t work 10 hours a day (or twelve if you are on some jobs) and then take care of their partners. They do. But they also expect equality.
Again, my parents are proof of that. But my mother won’t submit to my father because, well, no need to. Neither my father would submit. And if my mother happens to know about some topics more than my father, she won’t need to “prove it” first.
At the end of the day, each couple or marriage is different. What works for you, might be terrible for me. And I assume is the other way around. But for many women, the feminist way works. And yes, there is a gap between feminist women and feminist men the same way that there is a gap between traditional men and traditional women. That means fewer couples. But that is also OK.
In fact, the way things work in the US (with lack of public healthcare and paid leaves from work), traditional marriages are more at risk of divorce than feminist marriages. Mainly because a feminist woman might have an income to make up for a husband being ill/needing to recover. But a traditional woman expects that a husband has an income. And if he can’t bring one, they usually leave. Because it would be another traditional man willing to pay the bills. From a traditional perspective, he won’t be fulfilling his “part of the deal”. From a feminist perspective, it would be a change of roles and an adjustment with the woman becoming the main breadwinner. If she has a career, it would be easier to maintain living conditions. I mean, both my partner and I could cover our expenses with just one of us working but we both work because we both like what we do.
Point is, don’t assume that feminist would ditch their partners when they have health problems. But we would ditch them if they treat us as inferior. Or expect to be served by us.
