Bad analogy. As people have pointed out, same as with some black people murderers, rape is usually not prosecuted. Specially when the abused/raped person is a children. Adults don't believe them, think the children are making things up. Worse, when the abuser is a parent or family member, custody might go to the abuser.

The solution is not to legalize murder or rape to "not be a hypocrite", the solution is to look for ways to make murderers and rapist accountable. Yes, even in situations where the abuse is to lie to get your way.

Let's face it, most people who talks about certain things "not being rape or real rape", just want caveats or excuses or "plausible deniability" to get away with it. For whatever reason, they consider that actually getting informed consent (informed meant without coaction or lies, by the way) is too much effort, that they would get "less sex" so, of course, the solution for them is to allow exceptions... And, of course, they want to feel as if they are still good people or "not so bad" while doing that sort of thing.

Flip it around, would I still be a good person if I wanted to keep ding racist things but telling you that those racist things aren't really racist because "reasons"?

Your premise is absurd. People doesn't have to put up with racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, aporophobia or any other prejudice. So if they cancel someone because the laws have failed, they have every right to do that. Don't worry, people who share the same prejudice, would still support them. But we are allowed to turn our backs on them too.

And bad as they are, the purge films show what would happen if you legalize those things. By the way OJ simpson proves that rich black men can also get away with murder:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O._J._Simpson_murder_case#:~:text=Simpson%20was%20tried%20for%20the,in%20on%20November%209%2C%201994.

Sure, white privilege also works like that, but the key is to held accountable powerful people too and value all lives (black, poor, women, LGBTI...).