Bullies and abusers are predators, they know how to identify vulnerabilities and exploit them. They also know how to choose their targets and how to groom them before the bullying and or abuse starts. Many bullies start by earning their targets trust. That is especially true on workplace harassment.

Having said that, one of the most important tactics bullies have is to lower the credibility of the victim and convince people who might be witness that they shouldn’t interfere because “reasons”. One of those reason are “actually, victims really wanted it/would benefit from the abuse/deserve it/should protect themselves” and other similar says that they repeat around. They usually become angry when other people describe their tactics or, basically, dispute their claims about “actually being the victims fault”, also called “victim-blaming”.

So even if it wasn’t a fabricated tale, he is still a victim, since he still thinks that somehow he has to fit the distorted idea of his bully about “strength”. Sound pretty much in need of approval, which is a position where he would be easily manipulated. I mean, it is like all those self described “alphas” that run around doing whatever stupid thing that other guy told them is masculine and are even willing to pay more for a soap that is “for man” or for cleaning products that are exactly the same as the neutral ones because they have a “masculine brand/version”. That is someone insecure. So the grooming is still working and they keep being financially abused by other men that exploit that need for approval.

“Maybe” what they have to learn is how to call bullshit on comments that want to shift blame. ;)