By whom their are expected to hide their emotions? Not by me or any woman who ends being the ones who listen to them. In fact, men usually depend on their wives to "vent". So I would say that it is something men can fix by refusing to act according that expectation. The "man up" thing is something conservatives like, not progresives. It is all that thing about calling "woke" or "beta" or any other cute names to the men who won't conform.
Then it is the part of "taking care and protection of woman". Woman also care and protect men. It already happens. Many women have step up and do it. It is a partnership. But the fact that you can't even conceive that is weird. And no, it is not a job in itself because most of the time, adults take care of themselves. And it is police or firefighters the ones who dealt with danger. I mean, in Europe, people who go into fights, might face legal problems. It is not something we do. So what involves that "protection", from what exactly are you being protected?
Women are already doing emotional work. We just disagree on treating men like children unable to do simple domestic task that even children are able to do. And plenty of men are doing the eomotional work. They just don't follow the gender dynamics you favour. They are negotiating and creating ones that work for them.
To sum up, people can be happy living independently. People can be happy living in a couple where not necessarily it has to be two genders or gendered roles. Women aren't making it about money, traditional people are. Since they keep insisting on the "breadwinner" thing and how that should grant special treatment to men. The problem comes when after selling that the "man is the master of the house" for being the "breadwinner", he loses his job but expects to retain the "master" position. I'm afraid that conservatives need to be coherent with their own model. If you want women's support and that they do work outside the home and bring a check when men can't, then you have to also give up the privileges that come with being the breadwinner. It is one of the other.
"no matter what" hits a limit when one of the parts is clearly being taken advantage of. And many women who walk from their marriages don't do it because the men won't work anymore, but because of the imbalance on domestic chores. So no, we aren't making it about money, but about fairness and respect. Not doing your part implies that you don't value your partner's effort and time. That means disrespect. And who would want to live with someone who doesn't respect you? But seeing this point of view takes emotional work. At its core, it never was about money.
