Crazy is in the air: you can’t run from Valentines
She wanted to spend the day alone, but it wasn’t meant to be. It all started with some new matches. Apparently, some people thought that Valentin’s day must make her desperate. Some of them were nice, but other were rude and one even acted as if she didn’t have a say on who date sending her an hour and a place. That made her even more tired than usual with the app.
But dating apps weren’t the worst offenders. The constant publicity of overpriced gifts, romantic restaurants, travels or special traits for lovers were a constant spam in her networks. And publicists were good, they knew how to make you feel like a failure for being alone. It was no wonder that dating services that promised perfect soul mates were on high demand. And so were actors who played the role of the perfect date so you can pretend on public that you have a partner and the more economic and permanent solution of buying a bot.
Having a Valentine, even a fake one, had become a must. And she hated it. Intensely. What she would have love to do was to spend time on her own to finish reading the last novel she bought. Laying on the couch still wearing her pajama with a blanket and a cup of coffee. That would be perfect. And maybe latter she would change to have a nice walk on the park. She liked the lonely parts, were she could reflect on her thoughts. Maybe, if the light were good, she could take some pictures. And on her way back, she could go to the market and select some fresh vegetables, a nice fish and cook something nice. With no rush or pressure, just for her.
She traveled for work, so she rarely has the time to do that. Always having to be somewhere else, going from meeting to meeting and with several projects in line. Having a day for herself was a little luxury.
Alas, the day started with several messages that remind her she should look the best for her nonexistent date and that she shouldn’t forget to buy something nice for her also nonexistent date. She did her best to ignore the constant flow of messages. Specially the growingly insistent messages from the men who wouldn’t take no for an answer.
She ended blocking the guy and turning off her phone and communications. She just finished to make coffee when someone knocked on the door. She tried to ignore it, but the knocking became annoying. There was a drone waiting with the patience and insistence that only a machine could have. The drone had a package for her and for the red wrap with the nice heart shaped card it seemed one of those valentine’s gifts.
She thought that it was a mistake, obviously. But the drone kept insisting and the name and address in the package was hers. So, she took the package and got back in her apartment. The card was signed by him, the man she just blocked. Now she needed to return the package. On her day off.
She looked the perfectly wrapped box. It was bigger than a book, but lighter. Maybe in the past she would have been happy to get a present like that. But that day felt like an added burden. She decided to leave it on the table, unwrapped and return it other day. After all, she still wanted to read her book and go for a walk.
And she got to enjoy the book for a whole half an hour until he heard another knock on the door. Like before, it was so insistent that she ended opening the door. It was the drone again. She looked at it annoyed. This time it has a message.
“Why have you blocked me? Didn’t you like your present? I want you to wear it this night.”
She just closed the door. She had already told him that she won’t go to the “date” and she had blocked him. What could be clearer than that?
Yet she could get more than half an hour of reading before another drone appeared with demands of an answer and of things expected from her in a date she never had agreed to.
She wasn’t able to finish her book, but she thought that she could still go for a walk in the park. A simple pleasure that would gave her back some resemblance of peace. She got a nice shower, got dressed in denims and sneakers. Nothing fancy, but warm and comfortable. She picked up her camera and was just going out when she another drone appeared at her door. She sent the drone away just like the others. Or tried because this drone kept requesting an answer. Apparently, there was a service where you could pay for the answer and the drone won’t go away without it. So, she answered:
“Stop sending messages. Let me alone”
She now felt better and she started her walk hopeful that she could enjoy the rest of her day. It was sunny and while not warm, the fresh air felt good. The threes had no leaves jet, but the lake looked beautiful with the sun reflecting in the water. She decided to take some pictures and just then the drone got in the middle.
She screamed, frustrated, angry. But the drone didn’t care. It stood there with another message waiting for her.
“You didn’t have to be such a bitch. If you are too fat for the panties it is your fault anyway. You should be grateful I gave you a chance”
She looked at the drone stunned. But this time the drone didn’t wait for an answer. She decided it wasn’t worth it and that the best she could do was to try to enjoy what remained of her walk. Now that the man got the last word he would forget about her. She was wrong.
Barely twenty minutes after the last message, there was the same drone blocking her walk. She couldn’t believe it. She felt tempted to hit the thing. But it would solve nothing. She took a deep breath before listening to the message.
“Ok, I would give you another chance. But you better be sexy and make up for being a bitch!”
The drone went away without waiting for an answer. She wondered if she could contact the company and ask them to stop sending her message from that man. With that in mind she went straight home. Fresh fish and vegetables have been forgotten and there would be no nice meal. But she hopped that maybe she could get some peace back.
No such luck. Back at her home, an automated answering machine refused to give her an answer for her problem. Special valentine’s packages offered unlimited messages for the day, gift delivery and all types of nice details for lovers. But there were no options to refuse or return packages.
And the man kept sending messages with demands, threats and all kinds of weirdness. It took her most of the afternoon to get someone human at the phone. And then a lot of repeating and waiting with no solutions. Finally, a woman told her that the company have no return policy for gifts and that there wasn’t also a policy to refuse messages and gifts. She could, of course, write a special request to customer service, although she wasn’t a customer. And why would she want to return a gift and refuse the messages? Wasn’t it romantic and nice? It was like talking to the drone.
She hung the phone, furious. She already feared what the police would tell her. Would they take her seriously? Would they believe her or would they answer like the woman from the drone company? And more important, would she be able to make those constant messages to stop?
She didn’t have the opportunity to find out. There was, again, knocks on the door. She screamed, mad, frustrated and full of rage. She picked up an umbrella, she was going to destroy that drone. It was worth it. And she opened the door to find the man.
- Why aren’t you dressed? — said the man before she got the opportunity to react
She looked at him astonished. She was frozen, with the umbrella still raised over her head.
- Not only you didn’t appear at the restaurant in time but you aren’t even wearing a dress. — kept complaining the man — You must be one of those entitled whores who thinks that everyone must cater to them.
She slammed the door on his face. Still shaken, angry and wondering why was he even at her house? He had ruined her day off and he still expected that she dress nicely for him, go on a date and wear lingerie for him? Was he crazy?
The knock on the door started again, this time paired with shouting from the man. Insults followed by apologies and threats. She took a deep breath and called the police. Surely her neighbors would back her up.
Except they, as the police seemed to think that was a lover’s fight. She picked up the unwrap present and throw it away though the window. Then called for a special valentine offer and set a drone with the same message.
“Let me alone. We are would never date”
And created and automated loop to kept sending the same message every two minutes.
As efficient and quick as they have been with her, a new drone arrived at her door. She looked though the peephole in her door the drone delivers the message, followed promptly by another, and another. The man turned to the neighbors.
- What a crazy bitch, if she didn’t want to date she could just told me.
He walked away, pissed and angry. She though that she could call of the drones, but then again, maybe it was fair if she took full advantage of the valentine’s offer for the rest of the day. One thing was clear, you can’t run from Valentines.