"has too much going on" --> soft rejection. She wasn't interested in you but she was interested in the cheating coworker (who knows why).

And you are wise to see that the problem is that the women attracted to you, you didn't like. That is something many of us experience. It is a matter of keep looking.

But the bright side is that your coworker showed you what soft rejection looks like, so you won't waste time after that. Move on to someone who might be interested and don't look back. All things considered, you dodged a bullet.