How curious. You seem to think that "romantic" from a man stand point is to assume that they are superiors, not equals, but that they are willing to lower themselves for the woman. No wonder why traditionally women were taught to pretend to be idiots so the man would feel more intelligent. To pretend to be weak, so the men feel strong. To pretend to be useless, so the men feel more useful and so on. By the way, I've been told this by both traditional men and women. That "I needed to make the man fell intelligent/strong/useful", so I should try to be less whatever or hide my achievements. To me this is not romantic, is sad and depresing.

You are right that when you are looking for an equal partner, that someone starts thinking that they are superior is annoying. But you are wrong about why the gesture feels unsatisfying. After all, no matter what the gesture, it is empty when the other person would always see you as less. Of course it is not romantic when the believe behind is "you are less than me".

And you are wrong about "successful men having no success criteria for women". The ones who share your beliefs have the criteria of women being less successful. A beautiful, young but wildly more sucessful woman would be faulty for them becuase in their eyes she would be "too proud".

The good thing is that neither needs to pair up. And that some people do understand what is truly romantic.