I can see the first 3 as the result of different expectation and the society changing. I grow up with the expectation that domestic chores were something everyone needed to do. Somo of those chores like cleaning after one self, laundry, cooking and everything else, you learned how to do it as a child/teenager. So by the time you were and adult, you were expected to be able to do them decently.

So you start dating a man and, suddently, he doesn't know how to do any of those task that children are expected to do. Now, you can rationaly know that maybe he comes from a traditional home where the mother did everything and that is the reason he doesn't know how to do those things. So you explain how to do it, and he does it wrong again and again. Which could be frustrating and might lead to point 1 (jokes) or 2 (bossing him around because you need to tell him what to do around the house since he doesn't know) or 3 (him doing his best but the task still needed to be redone in order for it to be done right).

From the other side it is considered "weaponized incompetence". After all, children are able to do it. But at the same time, we usually are more patient with children than with adults.

I think this is one of those things where mothers who never allow boys to do house chores might be creating a problem for their future. After all, those chores are needed and not all of them would be able to pay for them to be done.

Also, even if you rationally know that the reason they don't know how to do them is their parent being traditional, you might still be comparing their skills here with the time when you learned how to do it (hint: if a woman learned to do something at 10 years old and a 30, 40 something man doesn't learn how to do it after a couple of months it looks bad). I don't think that comparison is intentional, at least in my case it wasn't. But it still happens.

Some couples get over this by letting the man learn how to do stuff and the woman accepting that they can do things differently as long as they reach a minimun standard, others hire house cleaners. And others end breaking up.

I've only experienced the "not knowing how to do stuff" once. And yes, he wanted me to "trust him", consider him competent, etc. But I couldn't help but notice that no, I did not trust he would do many of the things he said he would do and, not just that, he either failed or never tried. So after a few months of this, I realized that I didn't trust him and ended breaking up. No, I did not joke or boss him. But if something needed to be done by friday and he hasn't done it in a week, I would do it on thursday. And if he pretended to clean but things were still dirty, I would point that out and if he didn't cleaned, I did, because I didn't wanted to live in a dirty place. And no, it is not about "high standards" it is about hygiene because dirt is a source of sickness.

What I'm trying to say with this is that while it might be understable that you are tired after work and as a result when you do housechores you do a half-assed job, from the other side it might look as you being either lazy or incompetent. So if you want to be seen as competent, you need to get it right.

On the other hand, it is true that is important to say it when they do it right. Show appreciation is very important on both sides.