I disagree with you. I find perfectly aceptable (and even preffered) to go out for a coffee in a first date. And more casual looks. Having a coffee at a nice but inexpensive place, but that its cozy and allows for conversation is a good start. It gives you the oportunity to meet in person and have a brief conversation. If there was no attraction you won't be forced to stay long, and if there was mutual attraction, you can always meet again or go to another place.

If first date is at a restaurant (a good and expensive one at that) you would be forced to be polite and stay even if the date is awkward and there is no attraction.

I think lower stakes helps. And I would hate to miss out on someone that I would like just because that person doesn't have money. Or force someone to spend that much money just to meet.

Going to the nice restaurant is more a thing that you do when you already like someone, know the other person likes you back and want to spend a really nice time with all the awkwarness of a first date out of the way.

I usually pay my half unless the other person insist that they want to invite. Assuming that the other person would pay is rude. They should be the ones who freely offer. Which is also why first dates should be low cost, to not put a finantial strain on the other person.

I guess that first dates preferences not only vary, but also tell you who you are dating. The date you describe tells me: well off, traditional roles and possible that the man likes to have everything under control. Not my cup of tea (pun intended XD).