I hope you can maintain the distance.

I've not been in that situation, but I did have a manipulative flatmate. What I did to clear my mind was to write the things that he did and said so I could get back to that when he tried to gashlight me. I also commented what was happened with other people AND when I knew that I needed to have an important conversation with him, I made sure there were more people present to 1, have witnesses and 2. make more difficult for him to lie about things. Since there was more people around, he couldn't try the worst of his sennanigans without looking bad. He couldn't become aggressive without the other people reacting, not lie later about what he said or did.

So if you suspect that she might show up at place you are going to be, make sure to bring along someone from "team you". Also repeating their words as if you haven't understand it but making it plain what they meant is a good way to "shame" them. For example: If you "happen" to see each other at your children's play and you have bring along a friend, you can politely say "hello" when there are other parents around, then look at her with a confused look and show her the "swipe" right so everyone sees it and say "you swipe right by accident, right?". Or "So funny to see you on bubble but I think we know it didn't work". People would get their own conclusions. But show the proof of the swipe is key, because that make it way more difficult for her to lie.

For what you tell, she could try to "casually" meet you so she can continue whatever she is doing.