I think it all comes down to finding out that the people you considered friends (or family, or lovers), people you supported when they had problems, people you helped, people you have showed up when they needed you, is not there when you need them.

The problem is not so much that they don't consider it "their problem" and decide to not get involved because it doesn't affect them. That is bad enough, because it is saying that the well being of the women around them is not their problem. But it is not only that, because they do know it is your problem, you have been there when they had a problem, show up and help. And now it is their turn to return the favor, they simply not.

Worse, they not only don't show up, but try to persuade you that "it is not important enough" for you to consider it a problem so they not showing up to return the favor doesn't count as them not returning the favor. Because they want you to keep supporting and helping them. Even if they would only help you back "selectively". That is, only if you can convince them that it also affects them or if it's important by their standards, not yours.

That is in a nutshell what this is about, them not being dependable and not returning the favor, but still taken for granted your support in whatever cause that affects them and they deem important.

With that in mind, next time they ask for help or support you can answer in kind:radio silence. They did disappoint you first.