I think that “existential” threats are something that both men and women suffer. That is why some people turn to religion, for example. Others turn to spirituality.
Many people look for a sense of protection and stability in a context where the future is uncertain. But women don’t necessarily expect men to provide that. It used to be that way when the man was the breadwinner and women needed permission to open a bank account or to work outside the home. But now, many women (and men) look for that by saving money, making investments, or trying to have different sources of income. One of such ways is to be in a couple with two incomes. But it is not the only way.
Yes, in the past it was assumed by many people that a man would provide income, “certainty” and make decisions. But now, some people might prefer to make their own choices, look for information on their own and basically look for more than one source. That doesn’t mean that we look down on young men. That means that they aren’t our only source of information, income, or any other “safety net”. We rely also on our skills, our education, our broad families, friends, etc.
And the same can be said of some men. Some men have learned that by looking for partners they can trust, they have less pressure. No longer do they have to pretend like our grandparents that everything is great when they face trouble at work or financial instability. Now they can ask for help. Sure, they need to prove themselves, but it is naive to think that our grandparents didn’t need to prove themselves.
Life is usually a challenge and unpredictable. And our grandmas, maybe some weren’t aware of the threats the family faced and were shielded of that knowledge by grandfathers, but many knew. And many put on a brave face or pretend not to know (feel safe) for the sake of our grandparents. It was a way to make them feel less pressured or to take care of their own self-image as providers. But let's be honest, most wives back then noticed when things were wrong and when there were problems. Back in the day, there were also widows and mothers who had to raise children on their own. And marriages where things didn’t work (think an alcoholic husband or bad investments that left the whole family with nothing).
What I’m trying to say is that things today aren’t as different as you think they are. The only difference is that now women have a new source of income: their own wages. That’s it. Some families are taking advantage of that. Others prefer the old way to do things. But what is clear is that women not trusting blindly is not necessarily bad. It could be an advantage since it provides more points of view and information. The family benefits from that if both partners are willing to negotiate and reach agreements.
Assuming competence that hasn’t been proved is risky. Before it was parents who vetoed potential husbands based on work or income (that was how men proved themselves). Today they called it “adulting”, which is basically get your shit together. But I do think that young men are perfectly able to do that. They can work, do their house chores, take care of their children and even have some time left for their friends and hobbies (which include gaming). There is nothing wrong with gaming as long as they also keep up with their responsibilities. It is healthy that they have fun-time. And women also want fun-time.
But I’m afraid that “existential threats” is something that has always happened throughout history and would keep happening. And the more studies you have, the more aware of those threats and the more tools you have to face them. Not being aware of them, doesn’t make them go away. It just means that you would suddenly be in a danger you didn’t see coming. In my opinion, it is better to be prepared, even if that means being afraid from time to time.
