I think that many Incels self savotage. since they spend a lot of time in forums where they insult women, they tend to believe those insults. So when they talk with other men in real life, they repeat that. And at some point, it becomes so internalized, that when they speak with women, it shows. So women see that they hate the and avoid them. Or that they doesn't respect them.

Some men doesn't like to be told this. They prefer to believe that they were rejected for not being a 666, than that they have been rejected because the woman caught on his not so subtle insult or disrespect and decided to avoid him for safety. Yet, we do just that. And we warn each other about the guys that are not safe.

If instead of spending time on those forums they spend more time just meeting people with an open mind, they would meet all kinds of couples, friends, and eventually women.

Incels follow terrible advice and, as a result, they do terrible at dating. Think about this, many women introduce single friends to guys who they think are decent or might like them. But we would never introduce a friend to a guy who is disrespectful to us or other women.