I think that you knew it would end like this. But I also think that as you said, you wanted to have a baby and took the chance. You valued your options and decided that while not perfect, it worked for you.

And you weren't manipulative, you told him you weren't on the pill. He just assumed that you "would take care of it" because he was selfish and manipulative himself. In fact, chances are that his wife wasn't all the things he told you.

From a practical stand point, that is why you should try for him to renounce on his paternal rights. Also why people avoid cheaters. If they lie to their current partners, they would also lie to you. If they manipulate them, they would do the same to you.

I hope everything goes well for you and your child.