I think that you look for differences, so you find them. Many male managers ask people about their personal lives and many female managers don't. Many times, when you share meals with coworkers, people talk about their life. It is normal. And yes, engineers do talk about their life and their families too.

People don't talk about their lives at meetings, but coffee or lunch time is a different matter. And afterwork.

Engineers are people. Software engineers are no different than the rest. If you haven't see it, well, maybe is because you prefer to keep to yourself. But you shouldn't generalize to the rest, because most software engineers are as social and friendly as the rest of departments.