I understand that you wish to be seen and less presure to conform to the men's roles, but having the role of women's won't guarantee you to be seen and desired.

The thing is that some women felt invisible too. The ones who aren't conventionally attractive are also ignored. In fact, they are ignored to the point of men thinking they doesn't exist. And age increases this. Many married women feel invisible as they grow old and their husbands start to ignore them.

For some being ignored comes as a blesing, for others is as frustrating as for you. The point is that in the same way that you have trouble getting dates, they have problem being seen and never are asked on dates. And if they try to ask instead, they get turn down the same as you.

The term incel was invented by a woman to refer to herself.