If by “accept and understand” they mean not deny reality, OK. First step to do something is understand what is happening and why.
If they mean “accept discrimination and abuse”, then they are not allies anymore. Maybe they love you, people can be contradictory that way. But they are still hurting you. And their intentions of “not hurting you and other gay people” are irrelevant when they actions clearly are. And they know that their actions are hurtful because you have told them. So asking to “accept them” is, basically, asking you to pretend that they don’t hurt you so they don’t feel bad with themselves while doing hurtful things. That is selfish (and priviledged).
You have already said and explain why this things are hurtful, they know. When things like this happen, it is not about what to say anymore. Sadly it is time to follow up and enforce boundaries.
Your first responsability is your selfcare. Be nice to yourself, say nice things to you. You deserve love and your love is good. You are full of love for Leny, your son and others. You have shown that again and again.
After that, maybe it is time to do your thing. I mean, maybe you could organice another event where religious LGTBI people can share bread. Ignore whatever stupid thing that archbishop say. If branches of cristian faith were created on the past, I can’t see how this can’t be possible in the present. Maybe you would be few people at first. But I suspect that with time that would force the other cristian branches to change. Biggot would be biggots, but you don’t have an obligation to put up with them just to practice your faith. That is yours and they can’t take that from you (And I say that as an agnostic). If god is love, then their version of god is wrong. And if god is the vengeful god from old testament, then maybe is not worth to follow. So my suggestion is to not waste energy trying to persuade people who have made their minds to be biggots, but instead look for more people who would really treat you well and feel loved.
You know your way and you are not alone. We will resist.
