I'm going to suggest Amartya Sen's work.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amartya_Sen

You might have a different take on patriarchy after reading some of his work. As usually happens, men who didn't wanted to be providers, found ways to not provide. Even when remaining married.

Now, I do think there are many good men as there are many good women. Some good men might be traditional. Other would be progressive. Same as women.

But patriarchy failed many times. Think for example about widows with young children. Even if a man was good, reliable, and was there for his family, an accident can put an end to that. It is tragic, of course. No ones fault (well maybe a boss if it was a work related accident). And you would still have a woman with young children that is left in a bad position since she doesn't have a career, work experience and she no longer have the husband income.

Or the other way. Wife dies young and the husband is left with young children that he doesn't know how to take care of. If he knows how to cook, do house chores and take care of the children, they would suffer less.

The best thing you could offer your children is studies and an example of both parents working. The more sources of income and the more skills to adapt to life's challenges the better.