I've noticed that you aren't mentioning the domestic chores the ex-husband did while pursuing his passion. I mean, the woman did the chores while pursuing her passion. So all things equal, the ex-husband was doing that, right?

Funny thing, some women have supported the artistic careers of the men in their lives. For example, many musicians are supported by their girlfriends before they become popular. And now many unemployed men are supported by their girlfriends. Hell, aita reddit is full of those.

So maybe the expectation is that either you do the caring and domestic chores, you earn money or both. For both parents.

But I think you never valued the domestic chores and attention to your kids that ex-wife provided or you would have take that into account. If the children are with her, she is the one providing caring for them. Maybe the hypocrisy is saying that you value traditional women and traditional women's job so much until it comes the time to actually value that at a divorce.