Men are rarely raped and blamed for that. Once a man told me a story of going to a concert, meeting other man who was nice and bought him alcohol. At that point of the story I was thinking "He wanted sex with you and you took a risk". Well, I was right. The man continued the story. He got drunk, the other man offered to take him home in his car and when they were in the middle of no where, he started gropping him and asked for oral sex. The harasher was bigger, so he could have over powered him. Yet, apparently he let him left the car and left him there, two hours walking distance from his home. And he considered himself lucky, because it could have been way worse. But he necer thought that could happen to him until that momment.

The reason men react different is because most men aren't really socialized to assess the full risk. Neither see themselves in the weak position.

By your account, you were bigger, at a public place and her friends controlled. The "Kavanaugh" situation was at a closed room, with the friends participating too. That is, also grooping her. She could have been gang raped. Also, Kavanaught's friends thought it was OK, nothing bad happened according them. We do know because not one of them say the opposite.

Yes, women assess the danger. That usually includes potential rape and being killed after the rape. Because you only need to put the news to find out about another women who has disappeared and ends being murdered by a man who previously raped her.

You never feared any of that because men aren't socialized to see themselves as potential targets. In a way, that puts them at risk. It is less common, but when it happens, it is as traumatizing.