My two cents.
I think that what you describe is the same many women find when they are trying to date/find a partner. When you are single and go into dating apps, you usually met a lot of people. Some are traditional, other are progressive and everything in between. But they don't come with any warning of what type of person they are until you actually met them in person. And sometimes they lie about stuff, so you don't really know where they stand.
I do believe that some women want the men to pay. Others preffer to split the cost and, here comes the difficult part, some would be ok with either. For some people, it is perfectly ok to let the men pay the first date and then pay for the second. But in the first date (that could be the only date), their behaviour is the same. Also, some women consider that going to a first date is expensive, since they have to pay for their hair done, make up, dress, nails... So, from their perspective, thay have "already paid their share" and think it is fair for the man to pay to "even out".
What I'm trying to say is that you might not be seeing the full picture. What you can do, is to ask about the other person expectations and set a type of date that allows you to see if you both agree on how things should work.
As for the being open about feelings, I would say that there is context and nuance. I might like that my boyfriend is open with me, but if the one who is open about his feelings in a boss/customer/coworker who I'm not close to, that dump his feelings on me expecting me to be emotional support despite not having a close relationship or worse, after having made unwanted advances, well, the exact same behaviour won't be welcomed.
I think many times, the problem is perspective. There are times, when a man is interested in a woman where he assumes that the interest must be reciprocal or that it exist unless he does something wrong. Many that is not true and the woman is just being polite. So by they act with a closeness that does not exist and comes up as him being "demanding" or even crossing lines. So the woman reacts at the "crossing lines", not at the "share emotions". That is why so many women complain about having to "manage men's emotions" and why some men talk about women not liking "emotional vulnerability". Again, it is not the same from your boyfriend or someone you are close to, than from a boss/coworker or someone you just met. In the same way that a kiss from a boyfriend is welcome, but not from a boss. Sure, if your boss is your boyfriend, it might be still ok, but as a rule of thump, not a good idea.
The good news is that men can learn to identify situations, adapt and learn in which context something is going to be welcomed and when is a bad idea. Just like women learn to accept an invitation even if many times they would preffer to split a bill in order to avoid an awkward endind for the date (if they want to have a second date, that is XD). People adapt to each other and that is ok.
