No, it is like walking in a restaurant. Looking at the menu and ordering some salad. Enjoy the salad (or not, because it could be bad) and deciding that you don’t want to order a second dish. At that point, the owner of the restaurant might be disappointed that you don’t order more things or more expensive dishes, but the logical thing to do is bring the bill and finish.
But following your example, the “logical” thing would be that the owner took on himself to chose for you, force to eat and make you pay the bill, since the “implied understandment” is that next dish is “going to happen”.
Let’s face it, the only reason you and people like you assume that the next step is going to happen is because some people like you assume that what men want is more important than what women want. They don’t respect women, neither they care about their well being. But at the same time they don’t want to be seen as rapist or disrespectful, because then women would avoid them and not trust them. Hence, this post trying to “persuade” us that we should “just accept” this things.
It is like those conversations where a guy offers a drink with the implication that he is “buying sex”. You refuse and he insist and keep insisting, because he doesn’t care that you already have reject him, he wants sex and your opinion is not important. So you state it plainly and said that you don’t want sex with him and he keeps denying it is about sex. And of course, if you accept the drink under the pretense that it doesn’t create an obligation and because he keeps insisting and refuse to accept no for an answer, when you finaly turn him down, as you have been doing all night, he would get angry. Because you “owe” him. For the drink and “company” you didn’t want in the first place.
Point is, there is a big hyprocrisy in the way some men relate to women. On one hand we are expected to “trust them” because the “benefit of the doubt”, but on the other, we are expected to “know better” and that “thing would escalate” and that they really didn’t mean it when they say they would respect you. And of course, all of that while pretending that they are “nice guys” even if they lie and manipulate their way. Because if you openly state all of the above, then you are being mean and a bitch.
Yes, there are plenty of “understandment” on those things. But some of us have become tired of pretending that is ok. The real problem is that some men just won’t accept a no or a boundary set by a woman. And refuse to see the “no” as such because that way they can pretend that they are good guys while still getting their way.
The fact that “pick up artist” have “guides” to “lower resistance” show that those men are aware of the rejection or lack of interest and just care about getting their way whatever the means. And at some point, some of them didn’t even care about the women not wanting, just about plausible deniability or being able to claim that “they believe she wanted”. And the “change her mind the next morning” is part of that lie. She never wanted, but she ended in a position where she couldn’t enforce her rejection, he raped her and then he lie about she wanting it to get away with rape.
Yes, we are aware that speaking up about this things make some men uncomfortable. But it is about time we share the “discomfort” and end with those “understandments” that put us at risk of being raped and limit our freedom. It is only fair.
