No means no. It is clear and direct. But for some people is harsh.

The problem here is that if you convine the list, clear signs, honest and direct, is usually harsh. And it is because rejection is always harsh.

When women offer "soft" rejections in order to not be harsh, they are usually told that they are "leading men on", "playing hard to get" and "toying with men's emotions". Because even if the men had understood the rejection, he thinks that the soft rejection means that she actually like him and convince himself that if he keeps insisting, "she would change her mind".

At the end of the day, the problem is that sometimes you are going to be rejected (women are also rejected, except it takes the form of being ignored) and that is always hard.

Also, we tend to talk ourselves into thinking that the person we like, like us back "that way" too. Specially if they are nice with us.

At the end of the day, the man who talked about tinder had it right, because tinder makes the first contact easier not only for men, but also for women.

Also, if men learn to take the first "soft" rejection as such, they would avoid the women who "play hard to get".