OK, the first thing I would do is to ask them about what they mean. Usually they cite that "boys are left behind at school" and male suicide rates. Then ask them for a time they think "equality haven't gone that far". Before women got the right to vote? Well, let's compare literacy rates for boys at that time when "equality haven't gone too far" and now.
https://nces.ed.gov/naal/lit_history.asp
Apparently now more boys are able to read than "when equality haven't gone that far. And if you take a look at other studies and data, you can see that the more education a mother has, the better education her children, including male children have.
https://news.umich.edu/mothers-education-significant-to-children-s-academic-success/
So data seems to point to equality actively helping boys to not be "left behind" at studies. So what are they looking to claim this? To male drop outs. But those are decisions men take based on their situations. And that might include, wait for it, economic reasons. Yes, the price for private education. And who wants to forgive student debt? Usually progressives who push for equality.
But girls are doing better! So? Are they trying to argue that instead of working harder and doing better for themselves, what they want is to girls do worse so they can feel they are ahead even if their actual academic achievements drop?
Like in scary movies when one of the (bad) survivors claim that they don't need to run faster than the monster (economy) but make others be slower and shot other survivor in the leg? Is that what they want? Because then, they might not only not be the "providers" and "protectors" they fancy themselves to be, but they would actively become an antagonist.
With suicides is similar. We do know that sucidide rates are higher among gay men. And that many times men suicide over economic reasons. Yet, no one blames banks for men suicides or homophobia, they blame girls and women "equality".
Maybe the answer to what they say is to teach them history. and not the nostalgic version that skip the tough reality, but the other details. In the same way that people who idealize middle ages rarely think about the literal shit in the streets (that was thrown out of the windows and force people to wear hats), or the black tooths because there was no dentist, men are rarely told about leaving school at 14 because the father walked away and they needed money to feed their siblings. Or the ways in which many weren't able to study because education was expensive. Not about families of 8 living in small rundown houses with no running water. They are sold the white picket fence with the sumisive, loving wife (who many times took plenty of pills because depresion).
Young men are feed a tempting fantasy. One where they can have "everything" (including the loving submisive wife that would do everything for them and be happy doing that) "if only those feminist/wokes stop this gender war". But the truth is that unless you have been born rich, you would need to work hard and might not get what you want regardless. Growing up requires to learn how to deal with frustration and things not going your way. That includes dating or not being first at everything.
