People hold the entire community because the entire community chooses to remain silent and minimize the discrimination as a "small number of isolated incidents".

That is the thing, by saying nothing you support those "isolated incidents" and create an environment where those "incidents" would become common. And then, the ones who remain silent for the sake of "customs" are no longer "not responsible" because they haven't done and just looking the other way, but responsible too.

I mean, some people consider that saying

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing,”

is a good quote and speech. Let's look at one of those classical speeches that can be considered "tradition":

“Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion. Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing. He is not a good man who, without a protest, allows wrong to be committed in his name, and with the means which he helps to supply, because he will not trouble himself to use his mind on the subject.”

Apparently, she has put that into practice. And in doing so, make you angry. I think that says something not just about her, but also about "the community" and about you.