People is complicated. Some people who complain about bad partners are the problem themselves. I mean, when people complain is interesting to ask/listen to the specifics.

Some male friends used to complain about their ex or girls. But the complains weren’t the same. For example, one complained that women needed too many attention, so I told him that maybe he should look for women who were independent and have their own lives, but that if he went out with and independent women, he shouldn’t expect then that she stayed home with dinner ready, that she would make her own plans too. Now he is happily married with one of those independent women. His problem was that other people around him point him to the traditional women who didn’t fit him well.

On the other hand, there was a guy who keep complaining about “jealous bitches” and as it happened, he was a serial cheater and the idea of open relationships didn’t appeal to him, since he wanted to sleep around while the girlfriend stayed home. He keeps complaining about “jealous bitches” although now he has more problem to get girls, after all word spreads. XD

Similar things happen with women who complain, some complains are justified, other are the result of bad choices. On this I would said that traditional values offer very bad advice to find a good partner as a straight women unless you are some kind of martir. If I had followed my grandpa's advice I would be now married with an old rich man and quite unhappy since that wouldn’t have work for me.

I guess the point is that many times, that comes between finding a good match and a bad one are social expectations, conditioning, and luck.

And then, there are the predators, also know as abusers or gold diggers, etc. Those people know how to spot your weaknesses and use them against you. Usually are great manipulators and know how to use other people around their victim to trap the victim.

But the “nice guys” are their own thing. They lack self awareness (apparently, self awareness is a sign of intelligence and not as common as we thought) . The “nice guys” would be the ones who would listen to the men that talk about pretending to be nice for a while and would conclude that they are nice since they don’t do that, even if they do other things that could be worse. The example about the guy who considered himself good for not rapping is telling. And their belief is reinforced since he could be very nice in other aspects or with other people. Hence the other people would also call him nice and perceive him as such.

For example, I have a friend that used to play “matchmaker” and introduce us to guys she thought were nice. Sometimes it was true, other times not. The worse case was one who was fixed on me, followed me around and keep pestering even after I literally told him that I didn’t like him, not even as a friend and that he should left me alone. Yet, people keep saying that “he just like you so much”, “you should give him a change” and other socially expected comments that ignore the very basic fact that I didn’t like him and he ignore all kind of boundaries (to the point of chasing away other guy that I actually liked). People take pity on the so called “nice guys” and downplay the bad things they do as being “socially awkward” even if in any other situation the same man have no problem to interact with people. And many times, since they can be nice with others, they can be surrounded by good people that act as a disguise.

Anyway, people are learning and while we tend to complain about the bad things, there are also good things. And for any “nice guy” out there, there are regular normal guys that would fit with someone.

By the way, the counter part of the so called “nice guys” is that they chase away the normal guys, since usually normal guys refrain to go with women who they perceived as “taken” or that their friends like. And at a bar, if a guy is already talking to you, other men won’t come close. So the guys who “won’t catch a clue” not only pester women, also make things more difficult for other guys.

I guess I could write a book with this kind of things. Although in the hypothetical case I get to write something, I think I would enjoy more other topics. XD