She did. Read again:
“ And yet somehow his penis had found its way inside of me even though I had stated explicitly that I didn’t want to have sex.”
He just chose to “forget” or ignore that explicit no.
Or maybe he assumed she “would change her mind”, which is a “classic”. If happens at all levels, when you reject a drink, a date, a kiss…
Some guys just “assume” that “we would change our mind” to their wishes and if that doesn’t happend, well, some get angry, some would say that “we don’t know what we want” others convence themselves that it us who have changed our mind but at some point we wanted the thing that they wanted.
Anything but accepting the rejection at face value so they can keep pressuring.
I have heard them say that “we are not clear”, but if we explicitly say no? Well, that is also ignored with something like “OK, I accep your no” and them again pressure and them keep trying which is doing the opposite that they said.
Point is, some men have learned that the important thing is “the appearance of consent” not consent. If they can pretend or told themselves that there was consent, that is enough for them. And they know it would be enough to bistanders. Because “legaly” rape won’t be proved so even if there is rape, they would walk free.
People always ask if there is any posibility that they “guy might have misunderstood”, never consider the possibility that he might have intentionaly pretended to not understand. And it is interesting, since the PUA webs advice things like not asking and ignoring the “no”. The old male advice to each other that “not take a no for an answer”? Well, situations like this are how it looks from the other side. Or this one which is also a classic “get her drunk”. We can go on.
And since I know there are good men who do care about real consent, I know that it is a disservice to them and completely unfair to not point this out. The men that claim “it is biology” are trying to say all men are guilty, when this is blatantly false. Men can chose to listen, some just chose not to.
