Some people have a hard time to see how things work as a system. They see things as isolated or just parts. Many times they would refuse to listen, so in order for them to see things different, you need to change the angle or ask the right questions for that specific person.

For example, once I managed to change one of them point of view by pointing out that for most people, having a stay at home wife is not possible, that poor people and black people usually needed two wages (and several jobs each) to pay bills. Once I pointed out that, some of the things that he has been denying started to make sense. He understood that if one of the two stopped working that would have mean that the man would have to work even more hours and that would break him. So women not working was indeed bad for men.

Wage gap is another example. It can break down to: for racists people, a black men is worth less so they pay them less. For sexist people a woman is worth less, so they pay her less. They believe that a white men is worth more, so they pay him more. It is perceived value by someone who is prejudiced (and usually is completelly wrong about the productivity of those people). At its core, is the same. The way to fix it is usually the same: once productivity is measured with objetive ways, usually the unfairness shows. Hence blind auditions/hiring processes and similar things. Now we have the racists and sexists complaining that those productivity measures "favour minorities" and wanting to change them to new ones that are skewed to favour them. So if a black men want to be paid fairly, his best bet would be to ally with feminist to push for neutral productivity measures.