That is exactly how it works. It is absurd to think that how people perceive me doesn't affect at how I am treated.

The irony here is not that white feminist are being unfair to men, but that you think that being considered complicit in racism even if we are not actively racist is worse than being treated as second class by men.

In fact, it is quite interesting how white men tell us we should fear black men and use us as protection against racist accusations by putting all the blame for racism on us. How many white men who are looking for excuses to be violent with people of color say that they are only doing because a white women cried.

Sure, we need to speak up more against racism, but that doesn't make sexism ok. Not it is unfair to say that if a racist boss only hire white people, being white would benefit you even if you yourself won't approve that. In the same way, if a sexist men only hire women in lower positions, men would benefit even if they doesn't share that ideas. And that reasoning applies to many things in life.

So how does it make me feel? As any moral choice between what is right and what is convenient make me feel. It might be tough, but if I want to make things better I know that I might have to swalow my pride and accept the hard truth.

And now I'm going to tell you something uncomfortable, Karen's only have the power that the "Kevins" (white men) choose to give them. Look at your examples: "Emmet Till" was sentenced by white men. Those men could have not believe the white women. In fact, when a white women accuses a white men of rape, she is assumed to lie and being a slut and the men walk free. Why the difference? Because the white men who sentenced him needed to pretend that they "protect white women". From whom? Not other white men, that is for sure. So they need to say that black men are dangerous. Yet, when we talk about this case, you stop the blame at the white women, you don't include the white men who held the real power in that case.

Being considered "inocent and delicate" is not really power. It means that you would also be considered "easy prey" and "not as competent" at your job. It puts you in a position of weakness where you depend on others to achieve whatever your goals are. And if you are considered easy prey, you'll have to endure attacks and fear. Well, the "inocent and delicate" white women who fear black men because the white men have told them that those men would rape them (and if you are already enduring sexual assautl by white men it is easy to think that with black men would be worse) how do they protect themselves? Or let out the rage of having been made dependant and powerless? By lying. And white men comply because they were waiting for and excuse to play "hero" and get the "reward" from that woman.

So sure, held us accountable. But don't stop at white women, pay attention to the white men who only consider white women innocent and delicate if the accused is black, not if the accused is a white men. If you don't believe it, see all the white rapist that get away with it. Starting with Trump or Kavanaught. The women who were raped by them were white. They were considered liars even if they showed evidence...

So maybe it is ok for me to be aware that I can be used as an excuse to attack a black man. And maybe once I do that, I can be extra careful to avoid that and be less complicit. And if that hurt my feelings, bad luck, I'll have to deal with that. Is not that terrible. Or if someone doesn't trust me for being white, that is also OK. People doesn't deserve blind trust without earning it first. Or a chance.

As a side note, racism in europe take different forms than in USA. Same with sexism. But the essence is similar. The core is that I, as a white woman, should fear black men because they are "gonna rape me" and that I should serve white men because "they protect me" from the, oh, so evil "black men". You can add some muslim hatred there too. Here you can also add muslim hate and hate of latins too. The point is, I can easily imagine that while I'm told "black men are dangerous", that you are told "white women lie about rape". And while we mistrust each other, white men remain happily unnacountable of their actions, being rape or violence. It is a system that has worked for centuries and if we want to end it, we might want to shift perception and blame.