The problem is not ordinary men. Being ordinary is about perspective. I'm ordinary for most people, but my family, friends and boyfriend think I'm not ordinary. XD

Men going their own way, that is, the ones who actualy do it, are more comfortable that way. It is their choice and it is OK.

Then you have the incels, who think they are owed sex/love but aren't getting it. In practice no one is owed love or sex. And it is not about being prince valiant or a knight (some women might even think that actitude is making them less appealing). It is about connecting. But since they don't treat women as people and individuals, they don't respect them, what they produce is rejection. Because it feels really uncomfortable and wrong to be with someone who doesn't consider you a person and doesn't treat you with respect.

Incels have the potential to change and start treating women better. Then, maybe, they would be lucky and meet someone they connect with.

But as anyone can tell you, finding a partner has a lot to do with luck. And once you meet someone, you need to put the work in the relationship. Show up when they need you or when they want to celebrate. Sure, they also have to show up and not everyone would. Then you need to keep trying.

But finding a partner is not different than keeping a friend. You should prioritize that person and have their back. And in your eyes, that person should be extraordinary.

Now go and read what incels say about women. Things like "a dog is better than a girlfriend" and plenty of insults and hate. But of course, they want to fuck that "bitches". Well, if you were the "bitch", would you want to be with any of them?

And if I were to find out that my boyfriend says and think those things, I won't go and think that "I'm the exception", what I would think is that he lies to my face to be able to fuck. The longer you are with someone, the more difficult to hide the real self. So it is not just about paying lip service. Lucky for me, my boyfriend respects me. Then again, if I became single, I'll survive. A partner is not the only source of love after all.

Until incels learn start seeing women as people, they would remain alone. Even in the unlikely situation where they fool one into thinking they are not that way, since they would also be preventing themselves from real connection. In a way it is their choice what leads them to be isolated.