The thing is that my grandma's father, didn't wanted her to get a job. He decided on his own that she wasn't allowed to go to university even if she had a scholarship that would have covered all the cost. She wanted to go and she wasn't allowed. Because her father expected her to marry and be a housewife. It wasn't about getting a job, it was the opposite. That is the thing.

And the laws that required a man to authorice a woman go to university, work or have a bank account, were created by men. So yes, men have been a barrier to some women.

At the same time, those men would say that they "supported women" and took care of them. And in a way it's true. After denying them the tools to be able to sustain themselves, they made sure that they have a house, food and clothes. Maybe some nice things. But no option and a job being a house wife that was boring and they didn't like at all. Talent wasted because they didn't thought women should do that.

My grandmas are also a product of their era. And in my country that restricted them to the house regardless of their skills and talents. Speaking several languages, being a great artist, knowing about foreing politics, maths... Nothing that matters, since their husband prefered that they were only housewives and allowing them work would have been seen by the other men as my grampas not being able to provide for their families. That mindset was real.

I'm really happy that your family was different. That open doors for the people who came latter. But I'm afraid that not even the men who love us have always been supportive of our dreams and careers.

I can't speak for your mother, but if she divorced knowing that she would be worse economically, maybe it was because she valued other things. I mean, you said your father regrets the divorce, and your mother? did she regret it? Because if she wanted the divorce and never regret it, my guess is that there was a reason different than money. Again, not know, but sometimes people consider "not so smart" decision based on different preferences. Being rich is not the goal for all people. You say that the "system was working for both of them nicely" but the fact that your mother asked for divorce tells me that it wasn't working for her. She wasn't happy or she wouldn't divorced. That is the point, the system might have worked for your father and for you at your mother's expense. You don't know what was the cost for her. If she had to give up dreams and freedom. Or if she had to put up with things she hated. The key is if she regreted it. If not, chances are that it was the right choice for her.

I mean, yeah, my grandmas have a comfortable economic position, but they have also regrets for not going to university, still wonder what could have been and spent their whole lives doing a work they hated and that brings them no pride or joy. One of them even told me she hated cooking. And she was a great cook. Imagine that. And the perfect housewive yet, never saw her enjoying any of the domestic chores. Not one.

And they told my mother and aunt that they "wanted something better for us". That is, they don't think the housewife life is that good. My mother on the other hand, after studying physics and working on IT, is retiring now with my father and since both had good wages, they have a comfortable retirement. And yes, people looked down on my mother for being a "bad mom" and not staying home. Yet, both my brother and I are happy, have good careers, etc. And she had her own career.

Each family is different, but I believe that people should be able to decide what is best for them instead of having a father or a husband deciding for you. I know that I would be stremely unhappy as a housewife. I guess I take after my grandmas and mother and I need other kind of job.