The thing is that what you call "men bashing" many times is just we telling about our problems. I mean, you can be nice, you can be compassionate, etc. But if your problem is that someone is actually hurting you, like the men who grope us without consent.Or the ones who when we say "no", try to get us drunk so "we change our minds" or, more common, we can't stand on our feet. Well, I'm afraid that at some point is going to be a confrontation. And it would sound as "men basing". But if you haven't done that, is not about you.

The conflict is because there are many things that women don't like that for decades have been considered "fair game" by men. The buying a drink and getting women drunk is a common example. In Galicia is common, for example. There would be men who would do it in a nice way. Just one drink to have a conversation. And there would be others who would do it with a purpose to get you drunk. On the surface they look the same, but they are not. And there is no diplomatic way to say it.

And there is this "elephant in the room", where you have already rejected a man, but he keeps insisting that "it is only a drink, with no intention", but everyone knows there is an intention. And you reject the drink, but he doesn't take no. And after that drink there is another. And he push for you to drink it. And the next one. Ignoring the "no, thanks". Blocking you from your group of friends. Until the only option you have to get away is to be rude. But we have been taught to not be rude, not make a scene. So you end being the "bitch" because at some point either you stop it or you become prey. And believe me, I've even explicitly say to a man that I didn't wanted a drink because I was not interested in him, to be told that I was pretentious, because he didn't like me or wanted anything. Of course he was angry. I can tell you plenty of variations of this situation.

And this is just one example of many situations that we need to deal with. And at some point, if we want things to be better, we do need to have all those uncomfortable conversations. Otherwise, we would end with real resentment and while on the surface there would be civility, on practice it would be toxic. #metoo might feel like man bashing for some people. But being silent is way worse, because situations add up and built anger. Then from men's perspective, when we reach the "last drop", they think it is about that last drop, something minor, irrational. When in practice it is the sum of many, many things that weren't addressed to avoid that confrontation and discomfort.

So yes, I do listen to you. But from my perspective, there is no man bashing. There is some complains that might or might not apply to you. But the same way that when we talk about people doing "botellon" people who don't do that doesn't feel attacked, this is the same. If you don't do something, is not about you.

Mi abuelo es gallego. He estado muchas veces allí.