There are more women with similar views than mine. The thing is that people move in different circles. In a conservative circle where girls are raised “traditional”, you’ll find few women with similar preferences to me. That is because those who have my view, won’t feel comfortable with the expectations of the men there, nor with their “pushy” ways or all the “when a woman say no, she actually means maybe/yes”. Women like me don’t like that, so we walk away from those social circles.

And then we have the people who are “adapting”. The men or women who would like that on paper, but in practice still cling to parts of the old roles. For example, I had a boyfriend (now ex) who claimed he was ok with me making more money. Yet, he still expected me to do the cooking and the cleaning. Plus, when we went out, he asked me for money so he could pretend he was the one paying. And while I had no problem paying for the two of us, I did have a problem with him pretending to pay for me. He wasn’t inviting me, since it was my money. I was the one inviting. So why did he need to make it look as if he was the one taking me out?

What I mean is that if you truly are ok with different roles or just with more fluid roles when depending on the circumstances one might take more housework while the other stays home, you’ll need to look for social groups where that is the norm. In my experience, that is easier in cities than towns. And even in the city, you might take some time finding the right social circles and fitting in. Especially if you were raised the other way. After all, some things are “easy” to adapt (like the women paying the bill), but others not so much (like the classical “my standards of cleanliness are lower, so I already cleaned” → No, housewives didn’t clean to their personal standards, they always have cleaned to the higher standards because that is their job and are judged by that. And if the “breadwinner” is not happy with the results, then you haven’t fulfilled expectations. That is how it works for traditional wives, they are expected to keep their husbands happy. So being a househusband involves making the breadwinner happy).

But if you pay attention, you’ll find plenty of men who are already using their soft skills to flirt or get dates. The ones who cook dinner for a date or that are called “metrosexual” are common examples. Sure, they might be mocked by “manly men”, but they do get plenty of dates. And then you have the men who other men call “betas”. Those men do have girlfriends or wives. And usually have good relationships. At least they usually have them until other male friends convinced them that they shouldn’t act “kind” because it is not manly and the wife/girlfriend who used to be happy with him, stops being happy. Then when she breaks up, the guy talks himself into believing that it was for not being manly, when in fact it is because he stopped doing the things like cooking that make her interested in the first place.

Where I’m getting at is that people are complicated, but most manage to find someone and work for the relationship to work. We see it all the time in family and coworkers. We just don’t pay attention or don’t identify them as “winners” because they “don’t look the part”. But just pay attention to those guys other men criticize for not being “manly” or “alphas”. Many do find dates or have partners and are happy.

So if you want to meet women with similar ideas to me, broaden your social circle. Try new things. Start by showing your skills and qualities. If you show money, you would attract women interested in money. If you show a perfect cake, you’ll attract women who love men who can cook and love to eat. If you are good at playing music, show it (musicians are traditionally successful with women even if they are traditionally manly). I can go on, but the first step is to show your good qualities and see who pays attention. If you hide those because that might make you less successful with the traditional women, the ones who aren’t traditional would never know you exist. You would be another traditional man (aka: not interesting to them). It is a choice and a trade. You get the interest of some women at the cost of making other women uninterested. The women who aren’t interested in you would avoid you, so you might not even know they exist in the first place.

So your first step is to find out what works for you in a relationship. The second one is to take a chance and show what your good qualities are, regardless of the potential judgment. Alternatively, you can decide what kind of woman you like and try to become the kind of man she likes. Who knows, maybe you don’t like feminists who some people can consider “too independent” or even “bossy”.

What is clear is that you can be liked by everyone, neither you need to. To find a girlfriend or wife, you just need to be liked by two people. One is her, and the other one is yourself. Everyone else's opinions are irrelevant.