Translation: you want to redefine what is healthy to what suits you. While people are individuals with different needs, in a relationship there are two people. When one of them make all the calls and decide for the other what that other should need and want, there are a lot of chances that they get it wrong and the relationship ends being one way and only catters to the one making the calls.

We have seen plenty of times in "traditional" relationships where the man makes all the calls. The men is happy and decides that the woman should be happy and if she is not, she claims that there is something wrong with her. Like you are doing here.

You claim that the woman is responsible for her happiness, that she doesn't get to ask from men what she wants. But at the same time, you allow yourself to ask and even take for granted the things that women do for men. When they stop doing them, you accuse them of being "selfish", but if they do it and expect reciprocity (men doing things for them), you accuse them of not taking responsibility. Way to have double standards.

Well, what is unhealthy for those women is to stay with someone who expects them to make things for them and to make them happy, but doesn't do the same. Or that does things that she doesn't want, haven't asked for and claims that those things should make her happy and that's it. Sorry, but no. That is unfair and unhealthy. Hence women complaining or walking away. And many say that are happier single than in marriages like the ones men want for them. Go figure.

I'm already responsible for my happiness but that includes speaking up when men like you want to impose their ideas. And to ask for the things that I want instead of letting men like claim that they know what women "really want". Men like you don't like that and want to "redefine" words to mean different things when applied to women. Sorry, but no.

If you stand by your points, you would stop trying to tell women what to do or say by point 2. Because many people and not just women, work as teams and try to make the other as happy as possible. And it is quite reasonable to expect reciprocity. But I guess that your wife/partner/girlfriend whatever that you talk a lot about but we have never directly listened to, would never tell you "you make me happy" or that you would never tell her "you make me happy", since acording you that would be unhealthy. XD

But for many people, expecting their partner to make them happy is normal. If that doesn't happen, they usually break up. And that is ok. Women saying "this is what I want in a man to make me happy" is the same as saying "this is what I want in a partner". You can ignore it, sure. That means you won't be a good partner for that woman. Trying to convince her that she should want that is what is manipulative and unhealthy.

Also, girls are taught about the things that make men happy since very little. From "look pretty" to how to cook. All the rules about being "femenine" or "demure"? Yeah, those are things to make men happy, not to be happy ourselves. Well, not all men, men like you. So yes, I do understand things well enough to see that you do have a problem with people having different values and relationships than you.