While I get your point, my take is that there are people who aren’t feminist at all. And I mean it. There are people who really believe not only that men and women are “naturally different” but also that women should be submisive to men and have less right as a way to guarantee the “natural order” for society that is based on the “family”* (where family is understood only as a married straight cis couple with children). They would promote that “wifes” won’t work outside the home, seeing women who do that as a failure both on the part of the men for not providing and the women for giving up on her “femenine duties”.

They like and are happy with this kind of living. They don’t care about equal pay since the women is supposed to stay at home and not have a wage anyway. They don’t see many forms of harassment as harassment but as “men being men” and their way to express their “virility” and think that “women should feel “flattered” by such demostration. And it falls on the men of the family to “protect” women from outside harassment. Which is why traditional men won’t stand to foreigner men do the same things that they do to women. Or why it is stablished that “mothers, sisters, daughters and wifes” as “off-limits”.

Here non-feminist women consider that as “protection”, so they assume that harassment won’t happen to them if they remain compliant and “do their part”. And here they blame feminist for the harassment they now suffer since they think this assaults and harassment happen because feminist are not fullfilling “their part” and that it is a retaliation men do because feminism. Not only that, but they blame feminist and working women for the lowering wages for their hundsbands, etc.

Those women have give up the right over their bodies to men in their families in exchange for that “protection” and “providing”. They really think that if they are attacked is because “immigrants”, or because feminist have made men angry, or because they have made some mistake.

And they have learn that by expressing hate of feminism they earn “men’s approval”. Since they see their whole lives dependant on men’s approval, it follows that for them there is a possitive outcome of being anti-feminism (from their perspective).

The counter part of this are all the men and women who do want equality. Since there are more men with anti-feminist values than women with anti-feminist values and their social model need “coupling”, there is an unbalance. Therefore all those articles aimed at feminsit trying to show them the “error of their ways”. Since in their society women are regarded less intelligent, there is no contradiction on thinking that feminist women must be missguided, plain wrong or “didn’t really understand how things work”. So they need a man to do that for them and make them submit. And once they submit everything would be fine, no more struggles.

On the other hand, we, feminist want o believe the best on people and that men would see the advantages of being free from social expectations and to be yourself.

But at the end of the day feminism represent a change of values and some people would allways be resistant to change, they preffer certainty, even if that certainty is based on lies and fails to deliver. In fact, some of them would get the “perfect” family with a stay at home wife who devotes to her hundsband and children and would be perfectly happy. Others would get that and find out that that wasn’t what they really wanted after all and other won’t get what they want and would blame feminist for that. Same would happen for feminist.

But, as you have pointed out, society changes are unavoidable and even non feminist have become used to some of the advances that feminism brings. It would just take time and be consistant. Women individual life choices are the real strenght of feminism. Even the ones of the anti-feminist. XD