With respect, Elliot Rodgers has two parents that cared for him. They paid attention to him, offered therapy and did their best. And they weren't poor. On the contrary, they lived at a rich neighbourhood. And he had an expensive car.

The problem here was that no one has taught him own to deal with not getting his way. No one had explained him that sometimes things be the way you want them to be.

When his neighbours called the police because some disturbing videos, the police decided that he was a "nice and polite boy" and did nothing. Precisely because he looked white and he was rich, they overlooked the warning signs. And I'm sure it wasn't the first time people ignored the red flags around him. Ironically, maybe if the police or some other people would have considered those warnings, he might have gotten help to manage his anger. And managing his anger might have help him nade friends and have dates.

Sometimes what people need is a teacher or someone who doesn't buy excuses for acting crappy, so we learn how to be nicer. "You need to be nicer to people to make friends" is a very basic social skill that you usually learn at 3-4 years old. And "If you treat people badly, they would avoid you" is another. Elliot Rodger wasn't getting laid because he was making youtube videos scary enough for his neighbours to call the police. Which normal girl would have wanted to be alone with him? It is beyond "socially inept" but probably no one told him to "not hurt his feelings" because they wanted to be "compasionate" with him.

Now, I'm sure there are Incels that aren't dangerous. But they need to be told what they do wrong to correct it/improve before it is too late. Otherwise, you are not doing them favors, you might be pushing them in the wrong direction.