You are right. And it is interesting to see what happens when a woman doesn't "follow the script" and instead of saying "It is ok, I knew you meant well" they say "It is not ok and I want an apology". Or, "I don't care what were your intentions, the result is that you hurt me and that is wrong".
Or when they try to play victim and say "I'm the worst boyfriend" and you answer "you are rigth, you are the worst boyfriend".
In my experience, they either get angry, showing that they knew what they were doing. Or they react with shock, because when you don't do what they expect, they don't know how to follow.
Once with an ex, I wanted to break up. He wanted to make me feel guilty as if I was a bad girlfriend so I had to compensate him for that and make more of an effort to be a good girlfriend. So he listed my supposed faults and how the relationship was terrible. I felt angry, listed all the things I have done for him, which forced him to accept that I had helped him a lot. Then in a condescending tone, he said that he thought that yes, the good things were more than the bad things so we should work on the relationship (meaning me). So I answered back with "I disagree, I think we should break up".
He was completely surprised, since he expected me to apologize and try harder. Or me asking for things that he wasn't going to do/agree. He didn't expected me to say, yeah, relatinship is bad, let's break. And since he had listed all the things he expected me to change, he couldn't backtrack now. He was the one to use breaking up as a threath, so he wasn't in a position to ask me to stay. It was really satisfying.
Going of script help you see if he is manipulating your emotions or not. If he is honest, he'll apologize. If he is just trying to get away with something, he would try DARVO or something like that. There is a difference between emotional support with reciprocity and taking advantage. Someone normal won't want to hurt you regardless their intentions, they would care about your feelings. Manipulators, would focus on their emotions while ignoring yours.
