You can like someone as a friend, but not as a boyfriend. In fact, you can like someone as a friend for certain things but not enough to travel with that person. Or to live with them. Compatibility is a thing.

Sure, sometimes is about phisical attractiveness of the other person. But many times you won't date a friend because you know him and therefore you know you won't be compatible. I mean, I've friend that were terrible to travel with. If you can't share space for a week, would it work in a relationship? No. Sometimes you are even able to spend a full week, but it is draining, so that is the most you can stand living with that person. So also a no as a boyfriend.

There can be many reaons. Sometimes one person is messy while the other is not. Sometimes there is gender role expectations that doesn't agree well with you. Bitting your tonge for a week might be a good choice to save a friendship, but would you date him? No.

Incels seem to think that women are rejecting them for not being the "devil" (6 foot tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure income and there is probable another 6 they might throw there). But no, sometimes the "jokes" or the things that the female friends might let slide as friends, are thing they doesn't want as girlfriends. But to each their poison, so if they find a woman who share their sexism or is OK with that, then they would be happy for their friend.

Most women aren't looking for a "devil" boyfriend or a "Chad", but they might very well avoiding the not so subtle sexism from their friends in a boyfriend.

Of course, if they want sex, since it is just for a night, they might only pay attention to looks. But those things would never last. Incel might think that is because the men doesn't want it to last, but many times, neither does the woman.

So I'm afraid they are wrong. They only pay attention to the "lookers", not the average Jane's. And when they do pay attention to the average Janes, they expect that those women forget how they have been acting around them and not care about their sexist comments. Or all those times they left them all the mess to clean to the girls or... But no, average Janes do remember. And they rarely like the off hand comments about their looks. Or that you ask them after being turn down by 4 or 5 other girls.

Try to see it from the other point of view and you realize that they reap the results of their actions.